Joe 'Hustler' Vargas

Joe started his entrepreneurship journey hustling weed dealers on Las Vegas corners and pimping ‘hoes’ near the Strip. Joe claims that he was broke until he was 35 and that his big break came from his CBD company (which now has his entire net worth sitting in unsold inventory.)

In reality, Joe is your average piece of shit street hustler that people avoid for the simple fact that he is (surprise!) a Hustler.

A fast-talking money-snatching con-man that hypes himself up as the ‘don of CBD’, although not really having any impact in the CBD space beside a few Vegas dispensaries that look like a Vietnamese coffee shop that never sold much inventory except to friends and family that Joe convinced to buy his product (all whom now suffer from chlamydia) and a big INSTAGRAM marketing campaign painting him as the Don of CBD.

Yes, you read that right. Joe Vargas is now a cryptocurrency-certified expert with the complete knowledge of YouTube tutorials and an experience of… 1 month?

 How did he make $150k you ask? While admitting that Joe knows almost absolutely nothing about the Cryptocurrency space and started promoting “access to VIP group” where he shares ALL his exclusive trading tips and pump-dump coins that only he knows about! ALL in 1 month! (Wow Joe. You are inspiring!) 

Now, let’s examine exactly what happened here and why Joe is such a piece of dog shit.

Joe saw that Cryptocurrencies were surging again and poor innocent people needed certified experts with years of knowledge to guide them on how to invest correctly. So what did he do? He convinced them that he’s a professional investment advisor that they have been praying for! For only a price of $1500 you will get access to his one month worth of experience and YouTube tutorial-guided trading.

A few days later. Joe suddenly has an experience of 4 years! Wow. From 1 month to 4 years. We are very impressed by Joe’s time machine.

It’s almost like this guy can’t get any worse, right?

Keep scrolling.. It gets much much worse as we dive deep into his personal life & other faggtory stunts he has pulled.

*ELOHN MUSK*

*HOMOSEXUAL SON*

*OLDEST ROLLS ROYCE IN THE USA*

*NFT TRADE*

When charging hundreds of innocent people $1500 to listen to you read a script off YouTube videos is not enough. Joe has now realized what he must do next to earn some extra money and move out of his skid row neighborhood. He is launching a Cryptocurrency!

Joe Vargas is not only a ruthless scammer that will follow in on any trend to make money. But he is a worthless insect that will con people into thinking he’s looking out for their best interest when in reality he’s looking to fill his own pockets.

Joe has launched what he claims is a CBD-backed Cryptocurrency that in his own words “The world’s first CBD coin that donates CBD products to the less fortunate that can’t afford natural medicine to treat their ailments.”

While it’s complete nonsense what does that exactly mean? Joe does not understand Cryptocurrency and thinks that a successful Cryptocurrency just needs any “backing” and it is now a success! Let’s make a dog shit backed Cryptocurrency that ships you a piece of feces every time you trade it.

$CBD coin claims to be “the world’s first CBD coin” but clearly Joe has not done any Google searches as he’s not realizing there is hundreds of CBD-backed Crypto coins on the market. So what is CBD coin really about?

Due to the pandemic, Joe’s CBD business has stacked up in inventory and even after hours of praying to Allah, Buddha, and Jesus Christ. It just will not sell.

How will Joe sell his inventory? MAKE A CBD COIN AND CLAIM IT IS BACKED BY ALL HIS CBD INVENTORY.

"Yes! We are a fully backed CBD coin. I have a thousand bottles of CBD sitting in my warehouse that is now backing your Cryptocurrency! "

— Hustler

We've reached out to many of Joe's friends in order to truly understand his insanity & the motivation behind scamming countless innocent people while creating extreme cringe on the internet.

Here's a transcript of a phone call held with his dear friend Armani 'Pimp' Izadi at our Headquarters. 

'Elon Must- Fellas we have Armani on the line! Thanks for Joining us, sir.'

"Armani- Please, only refer to me throughout this conversation as 'Daddy pimp' 

'Elon Must- Sure thing Pimp, Anyways let us please talk about Joe Vargas'

'Armani-  I honestly have always known that Joe is a conman scammer and he’s always been a weird character in the Vegas Pimping industry. I mean as you know I did some time for that shit and I’m clean now but Joe just can’t seem to get away from trouble. He’s pimping his CBD products now in the form of Crypto. '

Surprise!

Joe's CBD coin has tanked to the floor with a trading volume of 1 gram of weed or around $19 per day

Congrats to everyone that invested in this coin and made -99% gains on their investment in less than 1 year! Wow, Joe. Thank you for this outstanding creation.

Here are some wise words from Joe Vargas himself concerning those of you who have invested in his CBD Coin and lost all of your savings.

In order for Joe to win and continue financing his 2006 Rolls Royce Phantom, You must lose. It's the game.

Don't blame the player, Blame the game'

What's a better way to show your audience that you're dedicated to the tech space than naming your son after Elon musk and slip in an H in there.

That's right. Joe's latest disaster is a baby boy that he has named after Elon musk.

Rumor has it that the 'H' in Elohn stands for Homosexual.. Keep reading and you'll understand why.

Joe has another son. A very interesting one. 

One that thinks outside the box.. Perhaps a little too much.

 Josh Vargas is the son of Joe Vargas and he has been exposed as a homosexual during the hack of his Instagram months ago.

Rumor has it that Josh was flirting with many underage boys and even invited an attractive teenager back to his parents house where they ran experiments on themselves.

The biggest rumor of all is that the reason for Josh's bizarre homosexual life is due to Joe fingering him when he was a child.

Which Joe claimed was a part of his parenting style.